In Part 2 of our "what happened to their stuff?!" series, we'll have a look at the living room, which is really part of a sort of great room, since it's connected to the dining room and to my studio space. Again, click to see the labels, which reveal a bit about my relationship to the (startlingly few--even to me) things in this room.
We really do most of our hard-core relaxing here--and I do tons of handwork here, since the chair at my work table hurts my bum. (TMI?)
To be perfectly honest, I'd like to hang some curtains, and I already have them, but the rods from our old house won't fit these windows, and every time I'm at the store, I talk myself out of buying new ones. I think, "But there are already blinds in there. Why do I need curtains, too?" I just do; that's why. And yet...
This view shows you a glimpse of my "studio," which is really the front foyer. We downsized from a three-bedroom to a two-bedroom house as part of an effort to downsize Mark from a two-job to a one-job man. It worked, and hence I'm quite glad to have this smaller work space (which I will show you more of later).
In the left corner up there you can see that we
do have a television, though we don't get "TV." My husband is a huge film buff, so the screen feels necessary on some level.
Annabelle's grandfather made her that lovely dollhouse, and I consider it an art object. Above it sits our collection of vintage Doctor Dolittle books.
And these guys? My
inheritance from my maternal grandfather. No joke. I love them with all my heart.
In Part 2 of our "what happened to their stuff?!" series, we'll have a look at the living room, which is really part of a sort of great room, since it's connected to the dining room and to my studio space. Again, click to see the labels, which reveal a bit about my relationship to the (startlingly few--even to me) things in this room.
We really do most of our hard-core relaxing here--and I do tons of handwork here, since the chair at my work table hurts my bum. (TMI?)
To be perfectly honest, I'd like to hang some curtains, and I already have them, but the rods from our old house won't fit these windows, and every time I'm at the store, I talk myself out of buying new ones. I think, "But there are already blinds in there. Why do I need curtains, too?" I just do; that's why. And yet...
This view shows you a glimpse of my "studio," which is really the front foyer. We downsized from a three-bedroom to a two-bedroom house as part of an effort to downsize Mark from a two-job to a one-job man. It worked, and hence I'm quite glad to have this smaller work space (which I will show you more of later).
In the left corner up there you can see that we do have a television, though we don't get "TV." My husband is a huge film buff, so the screen feels necessary on some level.
Annabelle's grandfather made her that lovely dollhouse, and I consider it an art object. Above it sits our collection of vintage Doctor Dolittle books.
And these guys? My inheritance from my maternal grandfather. No joke. I love them with all my heart.
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16 comments:
i am feeling wishy-washy about getting rid of my second couch. (also, my husband and the fact that i have three children and a big dog).
please tell me about books. because of course i know you love them. are you good about not hoarding them? they are a problem for me, i know. my books and the children's.
E.--I have another couch, too, but it can't be in front of the radiator in winter, so it's now in Annabelle's room. I don't think we'll get it back--it makes her feel very grown up.
Regarding books--I do have them. We have a big hutch in the dining room, and there's a bookshelf in my studio space. There also tend to be little piles of them here and there, but I'd say that it's surprising how few books I buy. I LOVE the library, and I get tons of stuff from there. I think I just feel like it's so easy to put get hold of a book this way now, and so I don't need to own them all. Still, my lack of desire to buy books is one of the elements of my changed life that continues to surprise me. (I also try to get rid of books if I don't think I'll ever want to read them again--no need to just _have_ them, you know?)
(GASP)! That dollhouse is GORGEOUS! My mouth dropped open and I just stared and stared at it! Wow, that is beautiful! I would start to make something like that, and a lot of money, stress, and hair-pulling later just give up. :) Props to her grandfather!
Melissa, I love your living and space and I am loving this where- did-all-their-stuff-go series! Can't wait for the next installment. BTW I went thrifting yesterday and didn't buy a thing. I was being REALLY discriminating.:)
Your home looks so beautiful and calm. Seeing it makes me want to 'de-stuff' a bit. xxx
The dolls house is just stunning!
I have one ... well i have to build it, but i do have all the parts and ... lovely! jajaja
good girl. i am a huge fan of the library as well and almost never buy myself books and generally only give them to the kids at holidays (aiming for ones that are worth keeping) still they have crept into our space and i need to be more mindful of the ones i am keeping... no need to just HAVE them is right. :-)
So, I'm curious about decluttering, minimizing and children. Do you limit the toys that come into your house? Are there certain kinds of toys that "disappear" (probably not now, you and your daughter seem to have an awesome relationship built on trust...but what about when she was little?)
What is Annabelle's attitude toward all of this? Middle school/high school years are a tricky age as far as "stuff" goes. Would you say that she's supportive or just tolerating the situation, (waiting for the day when she can fill her own apt. w/ estate sale find w/ Dionysian abandon? ; ) )
I'm kidding...but also kind of curious.
I also agree that the dollhouse is AMAZING!
Such good questions! You people are really making me think!
First, I'd say that yes, I have ALWAYS exercised a pretty strict control over what toys come into our home, to the extent that I banned plastic toys for probably her first five or six years. Given my odd rules, our parents and friends always looked to me for suggestions, and that meant I was almost always picking out what they gave Annabelle. This is startling to some people, too, but when we have birthday parties for A., we have a "no presents" rule for guests. I give Annabelle and all her friends the same (pretty awesome) gift bag, and we usually do something together--rock climbing, children's museum, etc. Mark and I tend also to give Annabelle trips or classes rather than stuff, stressing the _doing_ part of living. (I'm thinking of taking her to NYC for #12!)
Annabelle likes things tidy and doesn't seem to have any complaints about how I run the house-at-large; I give her a lot more freedom in her room, which is definitely the most cluttered space in our home. Still, I'd say she has far less stuff than most kids, and I encourage a kind of rotation with toys--I mentioned in another conversation that we keep either her playmobil or her pet shop toys in her room, and the other set lives in a plastic tub in the basement until she wants to switch them out. I also enforce pretty regular purging sessions, but I never force her to get rid of anything. I just sort of talk her through the tools for being in control of her stuff instead of vice/versa.
Does that answer your questions? I'm happy to think more about all this...
I admire what you've been able to accomplish in order to be home with your daughter. My son is Annabelle's age. (have some of the same issues as in your post from Jan 2010 sometimes...cranky, refusing to do chores, etc) but he and my hub are the joys of my life.
My hub tends to be the minimalist and would love it if I would be too...I really struggle with that, especially when it comes to my books and family heirlooms and photos....and crafty stuff.
Lately the clutter is even getting to me though.
Thank you for the inspiration to let go of some of it. Really love the dollhouse Grandfather made and your bronze reindeers inheritance! oh and the vintage book collection and your workspace!!
All the best,
Audrey
aka AudreyGardenLady
Thanks for the encouragement, Audrey. And you know, I do have things I haven't been able to part with; I have six or eight plastic tubs in the basement full of A's old artwork, things Mark and I loved as children, random ephemera. It's my goal this year to cut it down to three, but I don't advocate any kind of monstrous purging of meaningful items. As you say, my real goal was staying at home, having the kind of life we really want. At first, it felt like I was making "sacrifices" to accomplish that, but now it doesn't. It just feels like there's far less to worry about and far more time.
I'd just like to add to the kid discussion (to Audra) because I have four very young ones. Although I am not as clutter-free as Melissa, my kids do have far less toys than the norm, and as I realize how little we need, we are letting go of more.
We donate all our items, and the kids get joy out of the fact that someone else might appreciate our stuff more than they. We have been doing this since my eldest was a tot (she's nearly 7 now), and they are used to it. They willingly let go of things (except their favorites which I wouldn't expect them to!) and rarely complain when we declutter. Sometimes I let go of things without them knowing but only because I don't want to overwhelm them.
I always felt so controlling telling others what they could buy, until I came across this blog and others and realized what I allow into my home affects how I function, down to the mood I'm in if I am overwhelmed with "stuff" so...I'm expecting not to have to declutter as much now because I'm sending out a letter to family explaining our desires and am hopeful they'll respectfully comply or else know we won't keep their stuff.
Hooray, Erika--I think the letter is an awesome idea. I really feel that once my friends and family understood my motivations, they at least _wanted_ to cooperate. (They still struggle sometimes really "getting" it, simply because most of them see things quite differently.) What you say is so right, though--this is your one precious life, and you shouldn't have to feel less happy simply to indulge others' compulsions to buy stuff! That sounds a little cold/self-righteous, but it's the kind of ferocity that can be necessary to really convince yourself it's okay to say "no thank you."
Great pics and notes in this post and the last
Beautiful space! I think I have that same chair you are in. It is in my bedroom and was a curbside find from in front of a neighbor's house.
Nicola
Ooh--lucky find. Mine was in a friend's garage, and I'll admit to "offering" to give it a home. ;-)
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